Worth Fighting For
by MeiMei-Chan1
Summary: Wufei ponders about Meiran and her death


Warnings: Angst, Wufei being contemplative  
Pairing: 5xMeiran  
Feedback: YES PLEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEE!!!!   
  
AN: Kiko luvs this one...she threatened that if I didn't put it up, she'd shave my head bald while I was sleeping...-.-()  
  
  
  
Worth Fighting For by Crimsion-Tears  
  
  
What would you say if I told you I missed you? Would you think me weak? Perhaps after all this time I have finally grown soft. Perhaps I have become what you often called me, a coward. While I sit in the room that used to be ours, I am buried in memories of you. Your presence in here is so thick that I feel I am suffocating with the remembrance of you.  
  
There in the corner, I see a faded shadow of you. How often I dreamt of you sitting with me, listening to me read. Somewhere in the back of my head, I think that if I just go back to our home, I would find you sitting there still. And you would look up to me, and try to hit me for not coming back earlier. Perhaps that is why I stayed away here for so long, so I may hang on to the fantasy of you still being here . . . so I might fool myself to believe you are waiting for me.  
  
  
  
  
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"Wuffie, what are you reading?" two pig tails bounced over to Wufei's side.   
  
"Onna, how many times do I have to tell you that it's Wufei. You should be more respectful to your husband," Wufei scolded.  
  
"Sure thing, Wuffie," Meiran tilted her head so she might see the title of the book, " 'The Story of Liangshan Bo and Zhu Yingta' ? Surely you have better things to read than romance novels!"  
  
Wufei did the only thing he could. He ignored her.   
  
Unfortunately, that rarely was enough for his insufferable wife. Wufei groaned as he watched Meiran plop down in front of him, "Why are you reading it?"  
  
"It is part of our culture, just as the story of Nataku was," Wufei tried not to lose patience with his wife, but she was being extremely difficult, "It would do you good to learn it as well."  
  
"If you are so concerned about my education, why don't you read it to me."  
  
Wufei started to object, but as he stared as the onna that called herself his wife, he knew this would be one fight that he would lose. Defiance in him told him to do exactly as she told him. Wufei cleared his throat a little and begin to read the story. To his satisfaction, Meiran looked mildly surprised and slightly annoyed that Wufei did as she suggested. Strangely though, the onna remained quiet as he read, not making rude comments as she usually did.   
  
" ...and the two butterflies flew off into the distance, free at last from the bonds that had held them in life. To this day whenever people see a yellow and a black butterfly together, they know it's the butterfly lovers." Wufei finished and looked up at his wife. Meiran's dark eyes were focused in the distance.  
  
"It's weak to kill yourself for the one you love," Meiran whispered as she lowered her head.  
  
"Perhaps," Wufei said thoughtfully.  
  
Their silence was broken by the knockings.  
  
Meiran quickly opened the door and found herself staring at her mother.  
  
"Mama, what are you doing here?" Meiran asked as she led her mother into the room.  
  
"Mother," Wufei bowed dutifully to his in law.   
  
"Son-in-law," she smiled slightly, "I hope you are well."  
  
"Quite well, thank you," Wufei answered politely.  
  
"And you, daughter?"   
  
"Aside from the fact I'm living with him, I'm fine," Meiran answered with a smirk.  
  
Before Wufei could stop it, Meiran's mother slapped her.  
  
"How dare you speak about your husband in such a manner!" Meiran's mother scolded harshly, "Please forgive your disrespectful wife. We would be most appreciative if you would discipline her."  
  
Wufei moved slightly closer to Meiran in case her mother should decide to strike her once more.  
  
"Spirit is something that should be valued, not punished," Wufei said simply. Meiran stared at him, surprised at his reply.  
  
"In any case, I have come to speak to my disrespectful daughter... unless you mind of course," Meiran's mother said carefully.  
  
Wufei's eyes met with Meiran's, and for moment, they just held each other's glance. Finally Meiran nodded.   
  
"I shall be in the study," Wufei said as he walked away and closed the door behind him.  
  
Sitting in his study, Wufei begin to reread the story of the butterfly lovers. He was almost finished when he heard the door slam indicating that his mother-in-law had left. He was about to go back to his reading when he heard the distinct sound of swords slashing air.   
  
Curious, he opened the door to their small dojo. Inside, twin swords danced gleefully in long graceful hands.   
  
"Practicing at this time of the night?" Wufei asked as he raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Don't talk, spar with me, husband," Meiran demanded as the twin swords waltzed towards Wufei.  
  
Wufei was grateful that he took as glasses off as he turned to his side avoiding the blow. With a long leap, he escaped to the side of the room where his long sword was kept. In one continuous motion, he retrieved his long sword from its scabbard, and blocked two more attacks by the twin swords.   
  
Metal meeting metal, the swords chimed in steady melody as the long sword enchanted its two smaller partners.   
  
"Watch your timing, Meiran," Wufei warned, "You are slightly off."  
  
"Watch your head, Wufei, I'm trying to cut it off," came the reply as a twin sword narrowly missed Wufei's hair.  
  
"What's the matter?" Wufei asked carefully, "You are leaving yourself open in several places. I am already a stronger fighter than you, and when your opponent can sense your aggression, he will take further advantages of it." As he said those words, the back of his long sword struck Meiran's wrist, causing her to drop one of her swords.  
  
"Screw my opponent," Meiran's voice was angry, "Better yet, why don't you go screw yourself!"  
  
Suddenly Wufei knew why Meiran's mother had come to visit them. She knew they have not consecrated their marriage. The realization shocked Wufei enough that Meiran was able to send his long sword flying.  
  
Wufei quickly ducked another strike against his head, as he caught Meiran's wrist and twisted enough that the remaining sword hit the ground. Meiran took a swing at Wufei with her other arm, but Wufei caught that arm in mid motion as well. The two stood face to face, feeling each other's breath.  
  
Meiran's face was glistening slightly from a thin layer of sweat. Her hair slightly ruffled from the fighting. Suddenly, Wufei noticed that her face was getting closer to his. The greater shock was that he was the one moving closer to her. Before he knew it, his lips had found hers.   
  
Meiran did not move . . . and Wufei felt unreasonably disappointed.  
  
As honor demanded, Wufei moved back, but his hands still held hers tightly.  
  
"I am sorry," Wufei apologized as he stared at Meiran's shocked face.  
  
"What the hell was that? You are the damn filial son aren't you?!" Meiran yelled, "My mother comes here to tell me to sleep with you and you do exactly as you are told! Damn it Wufei, do you ever fight for anything you want?"  
  
Wufei felt as if he had been physically struck in the face...  
  
"There are only some things worth fighting for," Wufei whispered, "I pick my fights."  
  
"I don't understand you at all! Our clan is faced with imminent attack and you chose not to fight, and yet, when our clan demanded our marriage, you did not object," Meiran was yelling again, "What the hell is worth fighting for?"  
  
"Justice," Wufei stated simply, "And in war there is no justice."  
  
"What the hell about fighting to protect the weak? Fighting to protect the ones you love?" Meiran demanded.  
  
"Is that what you fight for Meiran? It seems to me you are fighting yourself," Wufei said calmly.  
  
"Damn you, Chang Wufei," Meiran's voice sounded strained and tired. She stared directly at Wufei. Suddenly her mouth plunged into Wufei's.  
  
"What're you doing?" Wufei managed.  
  
"Fighting for what I believe in," Meiran told him, "Kiss me back, Wufei."  
  
It was a command, but Wufei wasn't altogether sure he wanted to refuse. He felt Meiran's body melt into his. Her soft curves pressing against him. Rational thought seemed to be the first casuality of this fight.   
  
For the first time since their marriage, Wufei and Meiran slept in the same bed.  
  
"Did I hurt you?" Wufei asked apologetically. Meiran had bled. Wufei knew it had to happen, he just... he just couldn't stand the thought of hurting her somehow.  
  
Meiran shook her head, "Do you regret it?"  
  
"No!" Wufei answered quickly. His voice more eager than he wanted to sound.  
  
Meiran did not say anything, but in the darkness, Wufei found her warmth filling his arms.   
  
  
  
  
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I wonder if it's poetic justice that the gods should let me know the warmth of holding you in my arms at night so I might feel the chills of an empty bed. I wonder if they filled the walls with the constant echoes with your voice, so I might be deafened by the silence. I carry the mask of a warrior, but as I sit here, in the blinding darkness, I can no longer hide from myself.  
  
What did I fight for, Meiran?   
  
Sometimes when I am in Nataku, I would fight so hard just so my vision would be blurred, and for a moment, I could almost see you fighting by my side. But when the smoke clears away, I am alone again. For all those I have killed, for all the families I have destroyed, you will never come back to me. Yet I fight on, hoping somehow that in all this slaughter I would find the answer... so I would understand why you died instead of me. For all the justice in the world, the greatest injustice of all is that you died instead of me.  
  
I have to laugh at my own weakness. If you were here, you would tell me the importance of believing in what I am fighting for. You fought to protect our home and now so must I. I shall finish the fight you begin.  
  
Wait for me.  
  
Somewhere in a far off field. A single yellow butterfly danced as it waited for its mate.  
  
  
  
  
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~owari 


End file.
